Raica Oliveira

The Brazilian supermodel who was doing the fat Ronaldo back when he was merely the chubby Ronaldo. He's looking for a job, she's still looking ...

Calling All Brazilians To Uzbekistan

Go ahead, name one club in the Uzbek League beside the one just below your line of sight. Can you? Doubt it. And if you ...

Ronaldo Became the Angry Fat Dude Fighting at his own party!

Ronaldo does not stop producing funny headlines. This time, his 32th birthday party ended at 8 am with him calling someone for a fight. Ronaldo ...

Daily Dose: 09.16.08

Stuff to read while you impersonate your daughter to become a high school cheerleader.... Martin Jol has led HSV to top of the Bundesliga - no, ...

Citeh Continues Market Assault; Ronaldo Gets A Job.

Or so it seems. Ronaldo, the real/plump one, has dropped an enormous hint that he'll soon be joining Brazilian playtime buddy Robinho in the other ...

the first sign is denial

On the heels of Ronaldo's claims that he is readying to join the Brazil beat at Eastlands, the club has denied interest. The striker is ...

Champions League Fantasy Football, All Welcome

The Champions League is back next week, and to celebrate the kicking off of a new season's worth of coverage here at Champions League offside, ...

Photo: Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen...

Ronaldo: Once the greatest striker in the world, now taking dumps in training cones outside. (AP Photo/Ricardo Moraes)

I have no words!

We have Ronaldo

You must be thinking: What the hell is he talking about?!?! Don't call me crazy (yet). I can explain. Ronaldo asked the board to continue (or should I ...

the brave new world of Man City

If you were one of "those" types who stayed out of the loop (i.e. weren't "connected" online always) you're possibly waking up to a very ...

Uzbekistan Gets Its Man

Credit goes where credit is due: FC Bunyodkor is not fucking around. Earlier in the summer you may remember they'd announced they had signed Samuel ...

First Impression on the sides after Weekend One

The first weekend of Premier League football is now finished, and the season is well underway. Everybody has now played, so here are how I'm ...

If only...

It’s Saturday 19th October, 2013, and Forest are preparing for their first crunch match of the Premiership season - entertaining 2nd placed Manchester United at ...

Photo: Who Loves Big Macs? Ronaldo, That's Who.

This picture was reportedly taken at some point recently. He and Maradona are going to get along nicely in retirement as they personally support entire ...

Family Guy

Kaká and Caroline Celico met in 2002 in Sao Paulo, and the two started dating soon after. Although Kaká transferred to Italy 1 year later, ...

Controversial Footballers #3 Samuel Eto'o

As part of our occasional series on divisive footballers (See previous entries Here and Here) we turn to Barcelona (for the time being) striker Samuel ...

Is the Ronaldinho Saga a lesson to Manchester United

Cast your mind back to those heady days of 2005. Greece were European Champions. Frank Lampard was voted England's player of the year. Zidane was ...

Ka-Dinho

That's right. In January, everyone was relishing Ka-Pa-Ro, and they did brilliantly while they played (notably the 5-2 win over Napoli). Well, now, the 'Ro' ...

OMG Ronaldo looks just like me

Once, about three years ago, I was drinking on the streets while a beggar came to me and said "Man, you must lose some weight, ...

Last Ditch Effort...

I just don’t really know what to say anymore. These past few days have been extremely taxing on me with all these Dinho yes, ...

Transfer Talk: Brazilians on the Move

Latest transfer talk has all three of the above men involved in some kind of prospective transfer. Seems Ronaldinho is finally leaving Barcelona for AC Milan ...

The Continuing Story Of Bareth Garry (Part 3 - It finally gets interesting!)

The only story that's keeping the tabloid papers busy this summer, other than that poor old 'slave' Ronaldo, is Gareth Barry's imminent departure to Liverpool. ...

Wednesday Milan Musings

I want to apologize for being absent in posts the past few days. Work and real life soccer have been very busy, but the ...

Ronaldo out, Kaka' in? Summer just got interesting.

You've probably heard the news that C-Ron has decided that if Real Madrid do want to pay £70m for him, he might as well play ...

2007/8 Champions League Goal of the Season

So, Its the end of another Champions League season, and we've seen some beautiful goals. Below are some Youtube video's of some of the best, ...

My thoughts and reactions and review of The Final.

So there we have it, Manchester United are Champions of Europe once again, having won against Chelsea last night on penalty kicks after the sides ...

KTBFFH

Thirty minutes until history.

A Date With Destiny

Back by popular demand - The CL Offside Drinking Game - Final Edition

After the popularity of the Semi-Final drinking game, I have devised a new one for the final. I'll certainly be playing as its offically the ...