Uzbekistan Gets Its Man

Credit goes where credit is due: FC Bunyodkor is not fucking around. Earlier in the summer you may remember they'd announced they had signed Samuel ...

First Impression on the sides after Weekend One

The first weekend of Premier League football is now finished, and the season is well underway. Everybody has now played, so here are how I'm ...

If only...

It’s Saturday 19th October, 2013, and Forest are preparing for their first crunch match of the Premiership season - entertaining 2nd placed Manchester United at ...

Photo: Who Loves Big Macs? Ronaldo, That's Who.

This picture was reportedly taken at some point recently. He and Maradona are going to get along nicely in retirement as they personally support entire ...

Family Guy

Kaká and Caroline Celico met in 2002 in Sao Paulo, and the two started dating soon after. Although Kaká transferred to Italy 1 year later, ...

Controversial Footballers #3 Samuel Eto'o

As part of our occasional series on divisive footballers (See previous entries Here and Here) we turn to Barcelona (for the time being) striker Samuel ...

Is the Ronaldinho Saga a lesson to Manchester United

Cast your mind back to those heady days of 2005. Greece were European Champions. Frank Lampard was voted England's player of the year. Zidane was ...

Ka-Dinho

That's right. In January, everyone was relishing Ka-Pa-Ro, and they did brilliantly while they played (notably the 5-2 win over Napoli). Well, now, the 'Ro' ...

OMG Ronaldo looks just like me

Once, about three years ago, I was drinking on the streets while a beggar came to me and said "Man, you must lose some weight, ...

Last Ditch Effort...

I just don’t really know what to say anymore. These past few days have been extremely taxing on me with all these Dinho yes, ...

Transfer Talk: Brazilians on the Move

Latest transfer talk has all three of the above men involved in some kind of prospective transfer. Seems Ronaldinho is finally leaving Barcelona for AC Milan ...

The Continuing Story Of Bareth Garry (Part 3 - It finally gets interesting!)

The only story that's keeping the tabloid papers busy this summer, other than that poor old 'slave' Ronaldo, is Gareth Barry's imminent departure to Liverpool. ...

Wednesday Milan Musings

I want to apologize for being absent in posts the past few days. Work and real life soccer have been very busy, but the ...

Ronaldo out, Kaka' in? Summer just got interesting.

You've probably heard the news that C-Ron has decided that if Real Madrid do want to pay £70m for him, he might as well play ...

2007/8 Champions League Goal of the Season

So, Its the end of another Champions League season, and we've seen some beautiful goals. Below are some Youtube video's of some of the best, ...

My thoughts and reactions and review of The Final.

So there we have it, Manchester United are Champions of Europe once again, having won against Chelsea last night on penalty kicks after the sides ...

KTBFFH

Thirty minutes until history.

A Date With Destiny

Back by popular demand - The CL Offside Drinking Game - Final Edition

After the popularity of the Semi-Final drinking game, I have devised a new one for the final. I'll certainly be playing as its offically the ...

This is It. The Champions League Final Preview.

So here we are, right at the climax of the club season. Two teams remain standing, Manchester United and Chelsea. After just about taking the ...

Video of the Week: Last Day Scudetto Antics

I decided, since this weekend Inter and Roma play crucial games on the last day of the season to decide the Scudetto, to post two ...

Derby Recap, and Welcoming a Frenchman

I have to admit I am still overly thrilled with the derby win, and still salivating over the thrilling potential of the scudetto going down ...

Daily Dose 5.3.08

Something to read while You Suck at Photoshop... Sponsors not on board with Ronaldo's latest venture (Huffington Post) Not everyone agrees with Kaka's inclusion on the Time ...

The Offside Rewind: Hold on Tight

Some stories you might have missed on The Offside this week... Some mysterious missing underwear in Japan Big money equals fast cars Marcello Lippi has bad news for ...

Highest Paid Footballers (and Guess Which MLS Star is #1?)

The numbers are out. Guess who the #1 highest-paid footballer is? You'll never guess. I'll give you a hint. Plays in ...

Pato and Diego Support Ronaldo in that Transvestite "Misunderstanding"

I have always believed that it is under adverse circumstances that one discovers who one's true friends are. Like mistaking transvestite prostitutes for the ...

Ronaldo Gets The Dreaded Tranny Surprise

God I love it when Brazilians have time to party. Ronaldo (The Phenomenal One then The Fat One then The Symptomatic Fat One and now ...

Almost Too Funny to be True

Rarely does a soccer headline grace the front page of the ESPN website. In this case, Brazilian World Cup star Ronaldo (not Cristiano) made ...

Ronaldo Caught With Travestites - Oh no!

I don't even know how to start this one. Ronaldo, yes - that one, is being accused by the travestite André Luis Ribeiro, AKA Andréa Albertine, ...

Messi. Ronaldo. Who's The Man?

Tonight, as you will probably be aware, Barcelona are playing against Manchester United at Camp Nou. Its the Champions League semi-final, but more than that, ...