Can we not find a middle ground between utopic and dystopic?

Footie or sex is an oft-posed and face-scrunchingly superfluous and neurotic question favoured by lad’s mags and the XXXL testosterone-fuelled beefcakes that try to dominate ...

Top 10 Freestyle Tricks of 2007/8

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhSXMY1pV74[/youtube] This video does exactly what it says on the tin. #10 Nathan Dyer (Southampton) #9 Ricardo Quaresma (Porto) #8 Frank Songo'o (Sheffield Wednesday) #7 Ricardo Quaresma (Porto, again) #6

Derby 2 - 6 Arsenal

In summary, Arsenal were class... Derby had a go... and I got to see 8 goals. * We started better than Arsenal... * Shot ourselves in ...

Saints 0 Coventry 0

There never looked like being a winner in a poor game between two sides short on confidence and creativity. Stern John had Saints' best chance ...

The Lowe Road?

Looks like Rupert Lowe has joint forces with his previous vanquisher Mike Wilde and is plotting a return to power. The news was confirmed by ...

Saints no nearer end of takeover turmoil

According to the BBC a week ago a takeover bid is imminent for Saints. The men involved are a local barrister and businessman so it ...

Hull 5 Saints 0

Saints endured another thrashing, this time at the hands of Hull, and slided back into the relegation mire. Michael Poke was injured in the warm-up ...

Southampton for sale, Cardiff facing bankruptcy

Saints fans Jonathon Fulthorpe and John Cousins are leading a consortium aiming to take over Southampton FC. BBC Online state that a deal for the ...

Southampton, Scoring and Shouting

Good news bad news from Wolves 2-2 draw against Southampton on Tuesday. Good news: Sylvan Ebanks-Blake scored both goals. Add that to his winning goal against ...

Plymouth Argyle v Southampton – preview

If ever Argyle needed a win it's tomorrow. Still shell-shocked after the defection of Ebanks-Blake to Wolves, still haunted by the spectre of play-off ...

Dave Bassett: the master becomes the apprentice

It may not be quite that dramatic, but 63-year old Dave Bassett is Dennis Wise's new assistant manager. I'm not sure if there's a Freudian ...

Academy Update, Reserves Update, Glenn Johnson Joins Portsmouth and Chelsea's Champions League Group B Dates

Well there ain't no surprise in Johnson leaving Chelsea. Once Belletti's signature ink had dried on the contract, it was always going to be Glenno ...

Shaun Wright-Phillips, Harley Davidson's and Guatemala

Earlier this evening I was sitting on the sofa trying to come up with The Offside way of trying to write a match preview for ...

Edwards out; Keano still looking to add players

Carlos Edwards is going to miss a month due to a hamstring injury he picked up during the midweek 2-2 draw at Birmingham City. ...

VALENCIENNES: Savidan and a few Friends

As the start of the season looms, it’s time for the France Offside to give you an in-depth look at each of the 20 teams ...

Anfield Banter: The missing stars, We not be clubbin', New stadium unveiled, Hammill hurt, & Mourinho's POV

* Well, it turns out that Fernando Torres and Ryan Babel were ineligible to play against South China FC due to 'red tape' concerning their ...

Paul Anderson nets again

Wow, this is going to be an exhausting year as I try to keep up with Anderson at Swansea, Hammill at Southampton, Guthrie at Bolton, ...

Anfield Banter: Adam Hammill hat trick & nothing much else

There's really nothing new going on in LFC world, nothing major that is. The Giorgio Chiellini talk seems to be gaining some momentum, Crouchy ...

More Anfield Banter: Paul Anderson impresses, Dudek signs with Real, It's Javi time, Jorge Fucile, & New keeper coach

* Paul Anderson scored a brace in his loan debut with Swansea City as they faced Swedish club Ostersund in a preseason friendly yesterday. ...

Anfield Banter: God watch, Kewell pain, More Mancini, Hammill speaks, & Barbara Streisand

* For a player that 'nobody wants', Robbie Fowler sure is getting a lot of attention. First off, St. Mirren aren't interested. Uh, okay. ...

Anfield Banter: More Heinze, Hicks' tease, Hammill loaned, Moyes whines, Smicer goes home, & G'day God

* Though not one game nor one goal nor even one tourney a player makes (including Freddy Adu, you muppets), but if you're Gabriel Heinze, ...

Anfield Banter: Hammill to be loaned, Luis Garcia got married?, & Malouda is definitely not coming

* My man-boy crush will not be wearing a Liverpool kit next season, and will most likely end up on a Championship side. The ...

Today's Terrace Talk

*Coventry City look close to being the latest US backed club... *Takeover talk in surrounding Southampton has cooled... *Sheffield United are being backed to avoid Football League... *Darlington's ...

Southampton Have Another Go at Statue Building

Talk about pressure. After the debacle of the first attempt and the ensuing embarrassment, Southampton have bravely decided to again commission a statue of club ...

Adam Hammill: What the future holds...

After watching the Scottish Cup Final today, I've come to the conclusion that Hammill is just not ready for the Premiership. He's an electrifying ...

Sunday Summary: English Ups and Downs

Most inevitable goal by an Argentine: Carlos Tevez Two important bits of defending by Yossi Benayoun, who's reputation lies more in going forward, and then that ...

Roy Keane gets another medal

The Permiership's been OK this season, but for English football excitement, the Championship has been the place to be in 2006/7. It's been tight at ...

He Shoots! He Scores! -- It's the Championship Goals of the Week

So Just Who Might You be Then Southampton FC?

Separated at Birth?

I reckon the similarity is rather uncanny. In fact it makes me all the more suspicious that a Portsmouth fan wasn't behind this whole thing... ...