The Infamous Xabi and Stevie Kiss

The greatest evidence of footie man love in recent times. And yes, it was Steven Gerrard who initiated the kiss onto a rather enthusiastic Xabi ...

Back of the net ... at last

McGugan’s strike at Loftus Road yesterday was a long time coming. I make it 572 minutes and six matches since the last Forest player scored ...

Is He Made of Plastic?

While he was busy becoming the best Japanese players of all time (at least until Shunsuke Nakamura came along), Hidetoshi Nakata never seemed to find ...

Raul and Fernando, Sittin' in a Tree

Here we have the lovely (sadly now former) Spanish teammates, Raul and Fernando Morientes. This video gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ...

Rui Costa: Classing Up the Joint

Portuguese legend. Fiorentina legend. Milan legend. Benfica legend. Wore his socks better than anyone who ever has or ever will play football. Really, the man ...

Some Mid-Week News

This week is dragging man. It's only midday Wednesday and I just can't wait for the weekend. I will use this time to again reiterate ...

Introducing our New HABs Offside Five-Tongue Rating System!

In the comments on the Philippe Mexes post, reader Johonna offered up the following. I am not saying that I dont want to go ...

The Loveliness of Philippe Mexes

Philippe Mexes. He is French by nationality, but he's played for AS Roma for so long that the Italians consider him one of their own. Unfortunately he ...

Cross-Cultural Exchange

[Click for larger version.] We swear we're not trying to turn this blog into ZABs, or something, but it's not every day a man makes Cristiano ...

Matteo Ferrari, AKA Wet Footballers v2

Meet Matteo Ferrari. He's beautiful. And he's wet. He also plays for Genoa and has somehow managed to charm Aida Yespica, AKA Italy's Foremost Footballer Dater, into ...

Forest 0 Crystal Palace 2 - worst Championship season ever?

There has been some talk amongst pundits about whether or not a team can take Derby’s unenviable title of ‘worst Premiership season ever’. It’s such ...

Quakes/Spurs Collabo

I had heard rumblings (har har) about this for a little while, but didn't want to get anyone in trouble and let the cat out ...

Francesco Coco: On an Island and in the Shower

Former Italy defender Francesco Coco -- that's him in front -- has dreams of a career in Hollywood. So far, though, all he's got to ...

FIFA 09 - First Look

Got a hold of a couple pictures of Huckleberry digitized, as well as the starting XI and overall ratings for them. Props to ELEETE ...

Investigating David Beckham's Penis

It's one of the greatest mysteries of our time, up there with Area 51 and the Loch Ness Monster. Just how big are the goldenballs ...

Florent Malouda Appreciation Day

This past season hasn't been that great for Florent Malouda. Leaving Lyon for Chelsea was a tough transition, but it looks like things are finally ...

My First Soccer Coach was...Godzooky?

I did not grow up in a soccer household. I don't believe that any of my relatives had ever played the game. I don't recall ...

God Bless Al Gore

In the dark days before the series of tubes known as "The Internets," we had to rely on ancient media like magazines and television for ...

Not That We're Complaining About Nudity, but What's With These Boys' Diaper Undies?

I love Italy. It is a glorious country. Where else in the world do we find that "footy joy" and "spontaneous nudity" are ...

at this point, we should play in the Lithuanian league ;)

Of course it is a joke, but at least we would be at the top of the table and undefeated. So after yesterday's 2-1 come-from-behind ...

Who Needs Words When You Have Photos?

Champions League. Roma. Julio Baptista. Anything else we might add would be superfluous.

"I'm a stranger here myself..."

You know it is not an easy thing to be a soccer fan in America. You are a member of an almost fringe fraternity, ...

Maradona's Almost-Son-in-Law

I had plans to post something much racier and more naked, but when I came across this picture of Kun Aguero in a pile of ...

In Praise of Hip-Dips

Ah, hip-dips. Those sweet, sexy little arrows that draw the eye downward and toward the center while screaming "LOOK DOWN HERE!! LOOK DOWN ...

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A Little Man Love To Start Your Day

In the mood for something that will leave you feeling nice and warm inside? Out of context, this video could probably be accused of having ...

Olof Mellberg: Perfect, Even Fully-Clothed

Alright, we admit it: Most of the footballers you'll be seeing here are likely to be wearing as little as possible. There are a few, ...

What's So Sexy About Florent Malouda?

What's so sexy about France and Chelsea winger Florent Malouda? We're not sure, but we think it's the accent. And the cheekbones. And the ...

What's So Sexy About Florent Malouda?

What's so sexy about France and Chelsea winger Florent Malouda? We're not sure, but we think it's the accent. And the cheekbones. And the ...

Forget the Game. We're All About the Hot Bods. Welcome to HABs Offside

Ladies and gentlemen! Or...well...ladies. We would like to welcome you to HABs Offside, the for-the-ladies equivalent to our sister site, ...